Thursday, June 26, 2014

Whacky Signs in English Around the World!

Some handpicked whacky signs found around the world in ENGLISH at least I think its English you are free to interpret whatever you find funny. \m/(^o^)\m/

  1. Budapest zoo:Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. 
  2. Dry cleaners Bangkok:Drop your trousers here for best results. 
  3. Poster on a wall in Kenya: Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.
  4. Menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. 
  5. Shop in Italy: Why go anywhere else to be cheated? Come here first! 
  6. Advertisement:Table suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers for sale. 
  7. Hotel lobby, Bucharest:The lift is out of order. Till the time it is repaired, we regret that you will be unbearable. 
  8. Hotel, Japan:You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 
  9. Moscow hotel:You are welcome to visit the cemetary across the street where famous Russian artists, composers and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
  10. Laundry in Rome:Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. 
  11. A sign in Germany's Black Forest:It is strictly forbidden in our Black Forest camping site that people of different gender, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose. 

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Ghetto Translations for the Aristocrats

We live in one country but there are two worlds in it.
Ghetto translations:

1. "Bruh you got me?" = Will you cover my expenses with no plans of reimbursement?
2. "That's wasup" = 9 out 10 i wasn't paying attention to anything you were saying.
3. "Fuck that shit" = Clearly the task at hand is too impossible and unlikely to accomplish so in turn I give-up.
4. "Shit just got real" = The situation has escalated to the highest point of seriousness and is no longer a laughing matter.
5. "Wait til ma team show up" = I am currently outnumbered in this altercation. However, the arrival of my friends should help.
6. "This ain't wat you want bruh" = Look my friend, I don't want to kick your buttocks, but I will do so if I must.
7. "F*cktard" = A person with unbelievably, inexcusable and indescribable stupidity.
8. "He ain't sh*t" = Though he broke my heart, I miss him, I wish he didn't.
9. Because dayum! - the aforementioned item(s) has blown my mind and has rendered me speechless.
10. "Imma slide through" = I wish to join you at you current location for a while.
11. "I'm bout to go ham" = If you say one more word that displeases me, I shall be forced to take disciplinary actions.
12. "Take one for the team bruh" = While I am with this attractive female, please occupy her friend who is strong in the face.
13. "Dafaq you mean bruh" = I understood exactly what you said, however I completely disagree.
14. "Dats the shit I don't like" = I do not condone that kind of activity and i find it rather intolerable.
15. "Dafaq you talking to?"= I know you are talking to me, but i want ot be sure before I engage in a altercation.
16. "You Mad Bruh?" = I am aware that you are upset with me, but I am going to ask you anyway to anger you even more.
17. "I'm around da corner" = I am very close to the your current location and will be arriving there shortly.
18. "We up in dis bitch!" = We are going to face the same problems in this altercation.
19. "F'reals ma nigga?" = Is that so my dear friend?
20. "Wey dat be happening at?" = At what establishment is that taking place?
21. "Don't make me flip shit up in dis bitch!" = If you say one more thing that displeases me, I shall have to take abusive action.
22. "Just one more time!" = If you continue what you are doing, I will have to react hostile.
23. "Nah, I'm chillin' tonight" = No, my current financial situation is not acquired for extra curriculum activity today.
24. "You ain't bout that life" = Your living standards are not fit for the situation at hand.
25. "You talk white” = You speak with proper annunciation and grammar.

Friday, June 13, 2014

SHIT We Think About!

College:  A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Etc:  A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.

Office:  A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Ecstasy:  A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you
have never felt before.

Committee:  Individuals who can, singly do nothing, but jointly decide
that nothing can be done.

Politician:  One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.

Smile:  A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Optimist:  A person who starts taking bath if  he accidently falls into
a river.

Pessimist:  A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead
of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Diplomat:  A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.

Classic:  A book which people praise, but do not read.

Dictionary:  The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

Miser:  A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Marriage:  It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and woman gains her master.

Father:  A banker provided by nature.

Rumour:  News that travels at the speed of sound.

Criminal:  A guy no different from the rest of us...except that he got
caught.

Worry:  Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Boss:  Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

Philosopher:  A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.

Tears:  The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by
feminine power.

Experience:  The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:  An invention to end all inventions.

Doctor:  A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you with
his bills.

Software Engineer:  One that is paid for creating a program for sending
and receiving such E-mails!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Really Mean Insults and Put Downs

This may be a typical mean article you may have come across, but the following list of mean insults and put downs can surely come handy when you need them.
Some real mean and funny insults ...

       1.     I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
       2.    Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
       3.     Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
       4.     As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
       5.     At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!
       6.     Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're  nothing
       7.     I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you
       8.     Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
       9.    Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
       10.    Don't think, it may sprain your brain!
       11.    He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
       12.    He has a mind like a steel trap -- always closed!
       13.    He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
       14.    He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle!
       15.    He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?
       16.    How come you're here? I thought the zoo was closed at night!
       17.    How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
       18.    Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
       19.    I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
       20.    I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!
       21.    Zombies eat brains, you're safe.
       22.    At least gravity is attracted to you.